When is being homophobic acceptable?

                    I'm not saying its aliens....

 

I have been the target of a sustained and vicious homophobic attack from certain members of my family.
Their latest tactic was to copy a Facebook group I created to keep family and friends of my mother up to date with her condition.
These people (the homophobes) either left the group after being invited (and of course leaving me some homophobic insult before they did), or were not added as they had been attacking me on my mother’s Facebook page.
Which is why I had to unfriend my mother on Facebook and created the new group in the first place, my mother has dementia and doesn’t actually use Facebook herself anymore.

Anyways, I was informed that they had created a gay-hate group with a very similar name to the group I made for my mums family, it’s all very disgusting and petty really.
So I just messaged the few people that I saw had been added and hadn’t removed themselves, explaining the site had nothing to do with me. At the moment when someone adds you to a group on Facebook you’re automatically a member and have to remove yourself.

One of those people gets back to me, let’s call him Prince, he says he is “staying out of it”, I laugh saying how I wish I could do the same, as its difficult to stay out of it, when you’re the target of the attacks.
So he explains that he has removed himself a few times from the hate group and the homophobes keep adding him.
Now Prince said he “wanted to stay out of it”, when I added him to my group months ago, and he left, I respected that decision.
You see the main homophobe the ring leader, we shall call him Payne, he is a bully, and no one, except me seems to stand up to him. He does not like to be told no, and has a volatile temper.
In talking with Prince, he says to me, and I quote directly from the Txt;

“-no one has a problem with your sexuality – the issue people have is how ur easily offended with terms such as gay. My opinion don’t let it bother you unless it is intended directly at you.”

So I’m like WTF?!?
I replied that these people Payne and his homophobes have told me to kill myself BECAUSE I was gay, they have told me that my being gay is a mental illness, that (somehow) my being gay is (also) a choice, they have said that I as a gay man should know my place, and not make a fuss when I am insulted directly about my sexuality. They have said these things to me, about my sexuality.
I also have no problem with the term gay, i actually identify as gay.
I also mention that by insulting me for being gay they are also insulting my partner, my gay friends and every gay person. That i will stand up against homophobia where ever i see it, if its directly attacking me or not, where it is safe for me to do so, because it is the right thing to do.
He says "oh ok then," then we chat a little about nothing and let it go.
Now this Prince is seriously out of the loop, but I can’t help thinking, is that what their saying, that I’m just being overly sensitive?!?

I turn to a friend as you do and explain the 'latest update' and ask his opinion.
“So” he says in his flamboyant voice, “Let me get this straight, so to speak,”
We both smile at his lame pun, “The homophobes in your family, don’t hate you because your gay, they hate you because you are offended by their homophobic attacks against you, it that right?” he asks.
I scrunch up my face “uhhh I suppose” I mutter.

So he continues, camping up his voice by three whole levels. “Well sweetie I have the solution to your problem, I can ensure your family accept and love you!”
I looking puzzled ask “how so?” I am thinking that he may have seen something that I didn’t, he may have some fabulous way to teach the gaysists the error of their ways. I wait In anticipation.

“Well darling”, he proclaims, “You simply need to take their homophobic abuse and not be offended by it!" He says waving his hands in the air, in an 'i am done' manner.
“Problem solved!” he shouts looking proud of himself, and we both laugh.

So we keep chatting and as he is leaving he says one more time in a mocking tone; “They don’t hate you because your gay, they hate you because you get offended by their blatant homophobia directed at you, *uckinh really?!?” 
We both shake our heads and roll our eyes.

Later he says something brilliant; “Payne is a brown smear on the underwear of the world, don’t let him stain your whites!”
Which I took to mean that he is nothing, and that I shouldn’t let him ruin my life or darken my spirit.